Get A Job

This is probably the worst radio edit of all time for a really great song.  Have you ever been in a situation where people who see you just don't know what it's like?  Everlast.

It's frustrating.  This week, the drama nob got cranked to eleven here in the household.  I got blindsided by things I didn't know were going on.  On one hand, I was offered some help in an area that I could really use it.  I didn't ask for the help, and it was initiated by someone talking behind my back.  That's really frustrating.  I accepted the help, because it came at a crucial time, again, unasked for by me. 

On the other hand, a couple of people I have a lot of respect for told me, "Maybe you should get a part time job."  I just nodded.  I know millions of other people in this country hear this on a regular basis, too.

Their frame of reference is 30 years ago when they began their professional careers.  At that time, factories in this country were just starting to shut down and move to other places.  But the job market was still strong.  Jobs were easy to find.  Decent paying jobs were pretty abundant.  Entry level jobs were everywhere.  You could walk into the office of most any company, fill out a paper application, maybe give them a resume', and get hired, often times on the spot.

But we don't live in that world anymore.  The people who wanted to help me simply don't realize what today's job market is like.  They're intelligent people.  But they just haven't had to deal with this situation in years.  I've already applied for pretty much every entry level job in this town, several times.  Even entry level jobs now require a 30 minute online psychological evaluation, graded by a computer.  Our digital resume's are scanned by a computer and searched for the appropriate keywords.  Then, if you even get called (which I never do) there are multiple interviews for a job like wiping off tables and taking out the trash at McDonald's.  In the end, they person in charge usually hires their friends and relatives.  This is, after all, still a small town.

I'm not alone.  That's what this blog is about.  There are 30 million or more people like me, unemployed or underemployed.  I'm more motivated than many of these people.  Ive decided to create my own job.  I've been self-educating myself on how technology has changed our working world for years.  I'm now working 12 to 14 hours a day building a small business.  But none of that matters to people with a 1980's mindset.  They still say, "Get a job."  I nod, hold the frustration until I can release it later in art, and I go back to the 21st Century.  This blog.  My other blogs.  My social media.  My crowdfunding campaign.  My fledgling small art business.  I'm busy working in today's world.  They are entrenched in a world that began 30 years ago for them.  In that world they'll stay...  Until technology comes along and revolutionizes their industry.  It's only a matter of time.  Then they'll know what it's like.  That's where the song above comes in.  Keep plugging along people.  Create your own jobs if you have to.

Who the heck is Steve Emig

This crazy clip is video I shot at the 2-Hip King of Dirt contest at Mission Trails in 1991.  Mission Trails is a desert area outside San Diego, California with lots of hiking and biking trails.  This happened four years before the X-Games started, a year before Mat Hoffman built the first mega quarterpipe, and 12 years before skateboarder Danny Way built the first full Mega Ramp.  Most of the best BMXers in the world were at this contest, and no one had seen a jump like the huge "Death Jump" you see in this clip.  We were all actually afraid someone might die at this contest. 

My name is Steve Emig, and I've lived a pretty weird life.  I was born in Ohio in the 60's, making me one of the old farts of Generation X.  I lived in a series of small towns in Ohio until I was 13, when we moved to New Mexico.  I was a smart, dorky kid who sucked at sports.  I was scared to death most of that year in New Mexico, but I came to love exploring the desert during that time.  A year later, my family moved to Boise, Idaho, where I lived all through high school. 

In a trailer park outside of Boise in 1982, I got into BMX bike riding.  My friends and I rode little jumps and tried to out ride each other night after night.  That fall we learned there was a BMX track in Boise, and we started racing BMX.  I raced all through 1983, then got into the emerging sport of BMX freestyle.  Basically, I was a high school kid doing tricks on a little kids' bike.  I loved it, but everyone else thought I was a n idiot.  But I stuck with it, becoming part of Idaho's first BMX trick team with friend Jay Bickel. 

A year after high school, my family moved to San Jose, California, an area which was just starting to be called "Silicon Valley," because of a lot of computer companies in the area.  I started a BMX zine, (pronounced zeen) which is a small, self-published booklet.  My initial reason was to give me an excuse to meet and interview the pro BMX freestylers in the area.  While I did that, I worked at a local Pizza Hut.  In a turn of events that still boggles my mind, that little zine got me a job at Wizard Publications, the company that put out BMX Action and FREESTYLIN' magazines.  Suddenly I was part of the BMX industry, and couldn't really believe it.  Instead of reading about the top pro riders every month in the magazines, I was meeting them, writing about them, and driving the photographer to photo shoots.  At 20 years old, I was a guy who never took a single college course, and suddenly I was proofreading two global magazines, and writing articles.  My life went off in an unexpected direction.  I went on to work at the business that put on the BMX freestyle contests, and then moved to a video production company owned by Vision Skateboards. 

I went on to produce and/or edit fifteen low budget bike, skateboard, and snowboard videos.  I contributed to 7 different BMX magazines, and self-published over 30 zines.  I stumbled into the TV production world, and worked on over 300 episodes of a dozen different TV shows.  I spent four years as a crew guy on the set of American Gladiators in the early 90's.  Then, in 1995, I burned out.  I drifted away from the BMX world, though I was still riding my bike every day for fun.  I was sick of working on lame TV shows.  I wanted to produce my own shows, and start my own business, but I just didn't have the personality and the guts to do it. 

I started reading lots of books during that time, on business, economics, philosophy, religion, and personal development.  I went to work as a furniture mover, sometimes moving three houses or apartments in a single day.  It sucked.  I continued to try and figure out what life was all about and where I fit in to this weird world we inhabit.  I went back into the entertainment industry, working as a lighting tech (basically a roadie).  It paid well, but I had to quit because of an injury.  I couldn't do the heavy lifting anymore.

Still not sure where I really wanted to go in life, I wound up working as a taxi driver in 1999.  I did that off and on, and also struggled with homelessness for several years.  Finally the taxi industry took a big dive in 2007, and I became homeless.  No booze, no drugs.  I just couldn't find a job that paid enough to get away from cab driving.  I lived on the streets of Southern California for nearly a full year, panhandling to survive.

With my life stripped down to a daily struggle for survival, I gained a whole different perspective on life.  Many of the personal doubts and issues I'd been struggling with faded.  But I wasn't able to find a good job, or start a business to get myself off the streets.  I called my family in November of 2008, and they scraped together money to fly me to North Carolina, a place I'd never lived.  Remember November of 2008?  The global economy was one the verge of collapse, and no one knew what was going to happen.  There were no jobs to be had here in Kernersville, NC.  Eventually I became a taxi driver in Winston-Salem, but couldn't make a decent living at that. 

Finally, last fall, I decided I needed to create my own job.  I'd been doing this weird type of drawing with Sharpie markers for nearly a decade.  I stepped up my game, and worked on getting work drawing pictures for people.  I'm still in the early stages of this, but I'm drawing seven days a week now.  I'm not charging enough to really pay for the time I put into each drawing, I'm more focused on getting my work out there and building a following at the moment.  I also have two or three books in my head that I want to self-publish in the next two or three years. 

At a time when 30 million Americans are unemployed or underemployed, I realized that my best bet was to create my own job.  This blog is dedicated to those 30 million people looking for meaningful and well-paying work in today's crazy world. 

Two Formerly Homeless Guys Talk Success on a TV Show

Gotcha.  Did you know that legendary comedian and TV host Steve Harvey used to live in his car?  If you watch his talk show regula'rly, you may have heard him mention it.  In this clip, Steve interviews DeStorm Power, a formerly homeless guy who became a social media mogul on Vine, and has turned that into a TV hosting job on BET.  Listen to what he says.  Work hard.  It's possible.  What's holding you back?

Panhandling or Guerilla Marketing

I'm not homeless like I was a few years ago.  But I'm not making a good living yet, either.  Why shoot a photo like this?  It's funny.  In today's social media world, funny can go a long way.  This photo will get a few shares.  Heck, it might wind up getting a lot of shares.  If it brings some people to my blog, this piece of cardboard with hand lettering has done its job.  If it makes you chuckle, then it has really done its job.

Funny Panhandling Sign 15

I actually used this sign back in 2012.  At the time, I didn't have a PayPal account.  I just thought it was funny.  I really like this sign, because it shows just how much, and how fast our world is changing these days.  If you go back to this post, you'll see there is a panhandler in Michigan who actually has a website and accepts credit cards on his phone with Square.  Or at least he did until his phone got stolen.  This may seem like a big joke, but on today's world, this is the kind of thinking it takes to get your life back on track if you're really down and out.  Homeless people just can't walk into a factory, fill out a paper application, and interview for a job like they once did.  These days our resume's are digital, the job scans keywords, and it's difficult to even talk to the person doing the hiring in many cases.  If they do interview you, what do they check next?  Your background, probably your credit report, and your social media.  These changes in the hiring process make it much, much more difficult for a homeless person to get hired for the job that may eventually pull them out of their financial quagmire.  If you haven't been homeless, or chronically unemployed, these ideas may never have crossed your mind.  But they're a reality in today's world.  And that's what this blog is about.  On my journey to get my life back on track, I'm dealing with many of the issues that 30 million other people are dealing with in today's rapidly changing working world.  Just because you can do the job, doesn't mean you can get the job.  Even if you do get the job, it might not pay enough to get on top of things financially.

I've been near the bottom.  I've lived on the streets and panhandled to survive, despite my reasonably high I.Q., my willingness to work hard, and my background of working long hours.  It still wasn't enough.  If you can relate to any of that, you'll probably find some interesting posts on this blog.  Good luck on your  journey through these issues. 

Funny Panhandling Sign 14

I think this is the funniest sign I ever came up with.  People just didn't know what to think.  Some cracked up laughing on the spot.  Many others just gave me really puzzled looks.  Oh, did I mention that I'm a guy and weigh well over 300 pounds?  So I guess this sign just created a mental picture that people wanted to un-see.  Just for the record, no one ever gave me $50. 

Funny Panhandling Sign 13

OK, this sign came out of frustration.  Here in North Carolina, A LOT of people think that talking about Jesus to a panhandler is helpful.  I hate to burst your bubble, but it's not.  Nothing against Jesus himself, but every panhandler I ever met already knew who Jesus was.  Telling a homeless person that Jesus loves them doesn't help the immediate situation.  Sure, it's a nice sentiment, but when you drive away, that person is still homeless, pretty broke, and likely hungry.  Here's an idea, DO SOMETHING to actually help the situation.  Give them a dollar, a slice of the pizza you're taking home (that has actually happened to me), or just yell, "Hang in there, man!" 

The thing about The South is that a lot of people grew up thinking that some people actually deserve to be homeless.  Even worse, these Bible thumping Christians talk to homeless people in a completely condescending way.  The Christians I met while on the streets completely turned me off to organized religion.  I still believed in God, but I didn't want to go to church ever again because I was so sick of religious people talking down to me.  It was a long time before I started going to church again.  The point here?  Telling a down and out person about Jesus doesn't put them to work.  You may actually turn someone completely off to religion by "witnessing" to them.  If helping the homeless isn't your thing, fine, leave them alone.  If you do want to help, a little food, or a simple "Hi" is a good place to start.  See if you can help their immediate situation.  THEN invite them to your church.

Funny Panhandling Sign 12

The top sign here was an idea that I got from the internet.  But I had to add my own twist to it, so I wrote the second slogan on the back of the sign.  If someone laughed at the first side, I'd flip it over.  This sign got a lot of laughs.  Many times, the money was so bad panhandling, that I'd do it mostly just for the entertainment.  If that sounds dumb, think up a slogan of a few words and see if you can make a complete stranger laugh with it.  Ask any stand-up comic, getting laughs consistently is a hard thing to do.  I literally thought of myself as a roadside comic when I was using the funny signs.  It's really cool to see someone pull up with a sour look on their face, see my sign, and burst out laughing.  It's awesome.  If they gave me a buck or two, even better.

It got to the point that I actually had fans.  Yes, a panhandler with fans.  Delivery drivers and people who drove the same way every day would stop and tell me that they actually looked forward to my signs every day.  Think about that.  There aren't many panhandlers in the world that can say that. 

Funny Panhandling Sign 11

This idea, like many ideas, came to me while I was out panhandling.  One of the weird things about panhandling is that I usually seemed to be in a better mood than all the people driving by me.  Someone shouted something at me one day, I don't remember exactly what, but my response was to yell back, "Hey, at least I'm not related to you."  They drove off, and I thought, "hey, that'd be a pretty funny sign." 

Funny Panhandling Sign 10

This is one I thought up.  Personally, I thought this was one of my better signs.  It didn't get as many laughs as the Lexus sign, but pretty close.  I also had quite a few people take pics of this one. 

Funny Panhandling Sign 9

This sign was usually good for a few laughs.  Other people just thought it was dumb.  Dumb people, they thought it was dumb.  Lighten up people, it's only homelessness.  If I really had a Lamborghini that needed brakes, I'd be selling the kids on Craigslist to pay for it.

Funny Panhandlilng Sign 8

This sign was one I thought was funny.  But in North Carolina it just confused people.  A couple seemed to think we were still fighting this war.  C'mon people, Google it.

Funny Panhandling Sign 7

If you live in the South, you know there's a fast food joint called Chick-Fil-A.  Their commercials have these amazing cows who have signs that say Eat Mor Chikn.  Or something like that.  The cows and rappel, parachute, and do all these crazy things, but somehow they can't spell.  So this was my funny take on that slogan.  This sign was AMAZINGLY popular with rednecks.  A couple yelled out of their trucks at me claiming that they'd actually eaten 'possum.  Luckily for me, none of them offered to share any.

Funny Panhandling Sign 6

This is another idea I got off the web.  Usually they say "alcohol research," but I don't drink.  Pizza is more my style.  Mmmmmmmmm... pizza.  Sounds good right about now.

Funny Panhandling Sign 5

At one point while homeless, I went to the library, got on the computer, and searched for funny panhandling signs.  There were only about a dozen photos online then.  One guy had a sign that said, "Bet you can't hit me with a quarter."  As a fat guy with a sweet tooth, I put my own spin on that idea.  One time, a guy in the second lane threw a Moon Pie or something at me.  Not a Twinkie, but close enough.  I'm still pissed at Hostess for when they stopped making Twinkies and then brought them back in a tiny size.  WTF?

Funny Panhandling Signs 4

This sign, by far, got the most laughs and biggest response when I was homeless in North Carolina.  I can't remember how many people honked or waved and then yelled out their window, "Me too! I need a Lexus, too." 

Funny Panhandling Sign 3

Another panhandling slogan I actually used when I was homeless.  This one was the best sign for getting teen and 20-something women to take my photo.  I have no idea how many times this sign wound up on Facebook back then.

Funny Panhandling Sign 2

Here's another one of the funny panhandling slogans I actually used when I was homeless. 

Funny Panhandling Sign 1

To explain why this blog is called "Bum to Bankroll," I have to first admit to being a bum.  I'm not talking about a guy who sits on the couch and doesn't take showers for three days.  OK, I'm that kind of bum, too. Sometimes.  But in late 2007, I could no longer afford to keep driving a taxi in Orange County, California.  I walked away for both financial and health reasons.  For almost a year, I lived on the streets of Southern California, panhandling to survive.  The streets sound cool in gangsta rap songs.  But they are far from cool in reality.  How did I wind up homeless?  By working 80 to 100 hours a week as a taxi driver.  No booze.  No drugs.  Well, a lot of caffeine to work them crazy hours, but that was it.  I became completely homeless by working more hours a week than most people ever will.  The industry was dying, and I just couldn't scrape up enough money to escape. 

My panhandling sign usually read "Homeless and Hungry."  Simple, to the point, and effective.  But after a while I started putting funny slogans on the back of my signs.  If nobody responded to the front of the sign, I'd show the funny slogan.  It worked a fair amount of the time.  This is one of the slogans I actually used when I was a panhandler. 

The Human Cost of Super Bowl 50

I'm not usually a fan of Fox Sports, but this is a really good  article about how San Francisco has driven the homeless from their "homes" to present a better city image for Super Bowl 50.  On one hand, I've become a Carolina Panther fan while living here in NC.  I've been an underdog throughout my life, and have a tendency to root for the underdogs I see.  That's what the Panthers always seemed to be.  Here's why I became a Panthers fan.  Years ago I was watching a game, it was third and fifteen, Panthers ball.  They RAN IT, and converted.  Next series it was third and 17, they RAN IT, and converted.  Next series it was third and 15 again.  They ran it, and converted.  I thought, "OK, I can root for this team."  Any team who can pound away like that has my respect.  So I want the Panthers to win the Super Bowl to finish off this amazing season.

But there's another part of me that knows how ridiculous huge events like the Super Bowl are.  I heard on the news that San Jose, Santa Clara, and San Francisco are spending $50 million on this football game.  Obviously, there are a lot of other things they could spend that amount of money on.  I've lived in San Jose.  So I know that "The City," as locals call San Francisco (not "San Fran" or Frisco") is an hour's drive in traffic from the stadium in Santa Clara, which is at the very bottom of the San Francisco Bay.  It huddles into San Jose.  So 40 miles from the actual staduim, homeless people have been pushed out to God knows where at this point.  That really, REALLY sucks.  The good news is that this attack on the homeless people's daily lives has backfired on the city.  Instead of quietly moving the homeless out of sight, San Franccisco's homeless problem has been brought front and center.  Hopefully some good will come out of all of this.